goddamn, this fucking hurts.
its like a constant buzzing in your ear, like a fly that is always there, and you wish for it to go away. this dull stabbing pain that runs from my stomach to my chest, constricting, breaking. it caves in on itself, as if a black hole replaced the cavity, but i still feel. how could i feel so much anger and hatred towards you, and yet love you at the same time? you said that you hated her, but if she had asked for you back, you would willingly run back to her. i’d rather have this pain manifest itself physically. constantly in the back of my mind, its like you’re clinging like a parasite, sucking me of life. i hate you! i hate you! because all you did was lie, to me and to yourself. i cannot distangle the lies from the truth, but maybe i should just let it go. what does it mean to let go? i don’t even know any more because nothing makes sense.
