all I really want to do is love you.
I know I’m a freak. and thats okay. because sometimes i confuse myself and sometimes I don’t know what I want. and sometimes, sometimes, it hurts too much that I turn to anything to ease the pain. and i do what I say I wont, and I break my promises, and I regret things that I do, and I hurt people I don’t mean to hurt. and sometimes, I know I should do something but don’t. sometimes, I don’t capitalize when I should, and I don’t go back and fix it. sometimes, I eat past midnight and then fret about gaining weight, and then I look in the mirror and grab my fat and feel really bad about myself. sometimes, I laze around, unable to move, sleep in past noon then hate that I wasted the entire day. sometimes, I dream and get caught up in a dreamworld, pretending, faking, blissfully ignorant. sometimes, I have a lack of words, I don’t say enough when I should. sometimes I say too much when I shouldn’t. sometimes, I’d really like to kick the annoying barking dog across the street., I just want to feel loved, but sometimes, I am incapable of loving because i feel drained and exhausted, like i gave and I can’t give any more. sometimes, I am judgemental without realizing it, sometimes, I am ignorant and other times i pretend that I am ignorant. sometimes, I want to be weak and fall back. just give up. and a lot of the time, I make mistakes. but really, all i’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for hurting you.
